Reality Check

Life feels so surreal, ironically. I hit my hand against a table, just to make sure it still hurts. I feel that nothing is the way it is supposed to be. I feel that I stray too far from the dictionary definition of "normal." Life is never really a flat line; it will always be a peak or a valley. My mind works so oddly… I don’t know many teenagers that constantly think about fate, the meaning of life, God or Science, quantum physics, dreams. I try as hard as I can to forget all those and try to just relax. But my mind doesn’t work like that… I constantly argue with my parents, arguing that I think differently from them, that I’m not as religious, that I don’t care about everything they try to push in front of me.

I sometimes wish someone could swap shoes with me, and we could walk for a mile in each other’s shoes. I would love to know what a normal life is like, what it feels like to just chill, to relax. My life is so complicated, sometimes I feel like I’m the luckiest person in the world, to have Ms. K, to be so different from the rest of the world… Any “normal” teenager is chill, they play video games, they flunk tests, they push teachers to give extra credit, they try NOT to think, their lazy assholes. But I go the exact opposite way from that definition of a “normal teenager.” I went into the last Geometry Class completely forgetting WE HAD A TEST, yet I got a 98%, I occasionally play video games, not all day and night, I truly don’t care if I get extra credit, I always think why the world works the way it does (I break the cogs and put it all back together), yea, I’m not lazy… I understand and comprehend more than anyone else in any of my classes; it’s a horrible feeling… People in English Class don’t understand a writing of Shakespeare, and my mind automatically thinks, how the HELL do you not understand that?

I’m not saying that other people are stupid, I’m saying, I’m frigen weird… “In my shoes, just to see, what it’s like to be me. I’ll be you, let’s trade shoes, just to see what it’d like to feel your pain, you feel mine, look inside each other’s minds. Just to see, what we find, looking shit through each other’s eyes.” (Beautiful- Eminem). Since Ms. K came in my life, I feel like she, maybe doesn’t get the same exact feeling, but she can be empathetic towards what I’m saying, because she can at least semi-relate to it. I can remember a full page of information, by reading it once and just automatically remember what the page looks like… I feel INSANE. I wonder what fate holds for me, because the world and the human race doesn’t take kindly to people who think differently…