Conservative Indian parents

Ugh, they are the WORSE things to deal with. They love you, you love them back, but alas, they are like all parents... Except Parents Squared. Yes, it truly is, THAT BAD. I can't even go out with a girl to a somewhat Indian Populated place, without them freaking out about losing their reputation. As an Indian, you are technically not supposed to go out with anyone, unless you're getting married to them. So going out with someone is a comodity, something I am willing to give my children, unless I have a daughter, of course. But the fact that they are too afraid to put me out into public, is saddening. I feel like they want to control ever aspect of my life. Where I go to school, high school and college. I can understand that they want me close by, like every family wants for their children, and I don't necesarily wanna go away. They even want me to marry someone I want to marry, good, but they still wanna go through the whole "Parents meet Parents and ask for the girls hand in marriage" BS. I didn't care about it until, no joke, today. They want me to get good grades, I do it for myself, they want me to be happy, I'm normally a happy person! But when they try to control and affect everything I do any normal person would get as pissed off as I am. I some times worry what they'd say if I said I don't wanna cut my hair. Oh, that too... They want me to have short hair, because apparently long hair is, no joke, I mean in the sexual prefrence, gay. Yes, my parents think having long hair automatically makes you look indecent and gay. Great. Ugh, they want me to marry an Indian chick, and have Indian babies! I'm not against marrying an Indian chick, just, way to cut down my search preferences.

The Shaolin Contemplators: Fate and Love

"Pain is the predecessor of Love. If you are willing to take that one step to love, then you are ultimately taking that one step closer to pain. Thus making Love a gamble. If you withdraw too soon, 2 things can happen: 1. You can walk away happy with what you have. 2. You can walk away thinking to yourself that i should've stayed longer. Once you walk away, there is no turning back so making Love last long is your single objective. Staying to long can also bring devastating effects and knowing when to withdraw is undeterminable. Love is life's most complicated gamble, that’s why no one can ever perfect it." (Mr. KS.’s About Me Revelation)

 

Fate has a huge roll in what Mr. KS and I talked about on our… lengthy AIM conversation. Pain is the predecessor of love, with love; pain walks beside it very closely, holding hands even. Love is a happy thing, no doubt about that, right? It’s true, it is a happy occasion, it’s an amazing feeling. Have you ever wondered WHY you fell for the person you fell for? Even I cannot fully say why Ms. K , and she cannot explain why me (Is that a bad thing? Uh-oh.) of all other people in the world. But I don’t refute her answer, because I cannot answer the question myself. I feel love is an amazing feeling, and those who wish to never see the light of the warmth are missing a piece of their human self. But back to the pain, you must be able to endure the pain that your love will bring you. That’s why you must go through pain first, to be able to know if you can HANDLE the love that will ensue. Thus, as Mr. KS says, makes Love a gamble. But I sort of disagree with the withdrawal from Love. I think that, if fate had love in store for you, then you would never have withdrew, or who ever withdraws. I think fate always ends up trying to make a better life. If fate wanted you to fall deeply into love, you would be able to take the step on the step of pain that precedes Love. Love is a god-given grace. I thank God(s) every day for the person whom I think is perfect in most ways. Ms. K is a godsend, yes I say it, but the Pain that I had to endure was tough beyond all belief. If fate had it that you would fall in love, then you will be able to bask in the warmth that love radiates. If you walk away, fate has it, “It was never meant to be.” You could walk away happy with what you have and had, knowing you experienced something amazing, something godly. Or you could walk away thinking and wishing you could’ve stayed longer. But if fate has it, then walking away was the better choice, you will stumble onto something that is more worth your while, or… Something that will benefit you or work for you more than you would have with going through a Love that was bound to cave and collapse inwards. Like Mr. KS said, staying too long could have horrible effects too, if you truly do not love the person you had fallen for, and yet they do, you have ruined their life, and their fate. Just hope and pray that they will learn something from the fake mannequin you have put up to make sure they are happy. Sadly, in this blog, Ms. B's father will be mentioned skip ahead if you wish to do so. Ms. B, as you should know, is getting married in the near future. But recently, her father has passed away. This is the pain I was mentioning that we will have to learn to endure. This sort of pain will test you, mentally and physically. Especially with the new life she is about to start with Mr. J. I hope Ms. B has the strength to learn that this test is one she must be able to go through...

           

Whether you believe in fate or not, it WILL affect you. The fact of the matter is that, in the end, fate will only work for the good will of your life and/or soul, if you are willing to work with it. If fate wants you to receive the better side of live, you must be willing to endure the pain that precedes and follows along side it. Nothing in this world comes for free, everything comes with a cost, may it be emotions, luxury, food, utilities, human necessities, or even the job you want to have in the near future. Fate decides whether it is for the one for you, and if it is, you will fully enjoy it.

 

Kistner said in one of her speeches that fate could be used as an excuse. WHAT! “If you punch someone, you can just say ‘it was fate that’d I hit you.’” I think that’s a load of bull. Fate isn’t an excuse, nor is it a predetermination. It is an end product, the way you get there is solely on you, but there will always be certain steps you will have to take. If I want to become a doctor, umm… I think I have to go to school, there’s no way to bypass that. Same with anything else you want done. Love, for example, you must know what pain feels like and know how to endure it, before you can fully understand and accept the love that God(s) have given you. I’m not personally a religious person, I’m a vegetarian because I’m Hindu, but still. Love is not something you can just grab off a shelf in Wal-Mart. I think that fate is taken for granted. Fate was that my biological father would pass away, but guess what? It ended up amazing didn’t it? If my father was still here, I would definitely not be the person I am right now. I wouldn’t be able to hold Ms. K in my arms, have the grades I do, understand the things I understand now, go to prom, be in Aca Deca, know Dane Cook, be a Teen Volunteer, play video games, have my Myspace, have my laptop. So many things came out of one thing, and my father was not the nicest person, I admit he was a drunk, but what I’m saying is that, there was a cost to all the amazing things that I have now, is that fate decided that to have a better life, I must lose my father. But fate also decided that, without a father figure, I’d be mentally unstable and torn apart internally, so he gave me my uncle, who is, and forever will by my father figure. Fate only works for the betterment of life. It is your decision to work along with it, or to stray off and attempt to work on your own.

Reality Check

Life feels so surreal, ironically. I hit my hand against a table, just to make sure it still hurts. I feel that nothing is the way it is supposed to be. I feel that I stray too far from the dictionary definition of "normal." Life is never really a flat line; it will always be a peak or a valley. My mind works so oddly… I don’t know many teenagers that constantly think about fate, the meaning of life, God or Science, quantum physics, dreams. I try as hard as I can to forget all those and try to just relax. But my mind doesn’t work like that… I constantly argue with my parents, arguing that I think differently from them, that I’m not as religious, that I don’t care about everything they try to push in front of me.

I sometimes wish someone could swap shoes with me, and we could walk for a mile in each other’s shoes. I would love to know what a normal life is like, what it feels like to just chill, to relax. My life is so complicated, sometimes I feel like I’m the luckiest person in the world, to have Ms. K, to be so different from the rest of the world… Any “normal” teenager is chill, they play video games, they flunk tests, they push teachers to give extra credit, they try NOT to think, their lazy assholes. But I go the exact opposite way from that definition of a “normal teenager.” I went into the last Geometry Class completely forgetting WE HAD A TEST, yet I got a 98%, I occasionally play video games, not all day and night, I truly don’t care if I get extra credit, I always think why the world works the way it does (I break the cogs and put it all back together), yea, I’m not lazy… I understand and comprehend more than anyone else in any of my classes; it’s a horrible feeling… People in English Class don’t understand a writing of Shakespeare, and my mind automatically thinks, how the HELL do you not understand that?

I’m not saying that other people are stupid, I’m saying, I’m frigen weird… “In my shoes, just to see, what it’s like to be me. I’ll be you, let’s trade shoes, just to see what it’d like to feel your pain, you feel mine, look inside each other’s minds. Just to see, what we find, looking shit through each other’s eyes.” (Beautiful- Eminem). Since Ms. K came in my life, I feel like she, maybe doesn’t get the same exact feeling, but she can be empathetic towards what I’m saying, because she can at least semi-relate to it. I can remember a full page of information, by reading it once and just automatically remember what the page looks like… I feel INSANE. I wonder what fate holds for me, because the world and the human race doesn’t take kindly to people who think differently…